Everyone take a deep breath and check your bearing

  • Published
  • By Chap. (Maj.) Ken "Chappy" Reyes
  • 39th Air Base Wing chaplain
INCIRLIK AIR BASE, Turkey --  After talking to people at many locations around the base, I've come to a blinding flash of the obvious: stress is hard! Stress can be caused by moving, inspections, relationships, families, work, politics, health, threats, and the list goes on and on. What is the impact? How do people respond? How do you respond? How should we respond?

When people are overwhelmed their actions reflect the stress they are feeling. For example, some people are known as "Edgers." These are the people who sit on the edge of their chair leaning forward with their arms on their shaking knees with hands locked and head looking down. They have a lot on their mind, processing more items then they are capable, wishing they are any place other than the place they are at.

Deadlines are today, yesterday's suspense's have come and gone ... not completed. They are making choices of work versus family or interests, and tension at home or the dorm is at a new high. These people tend to snap back at others, say things they will regret later or present a kind of gloom and doom mentality. They feel nothing is going their way and tomorrow will be worse.

Then there are the "Storm Focused" people. There is a story about a man who walked on water during a raging storm. The only reason he was able to walk on water was because he kept his faith. When he forgot his faith and focused on the wind and waves, he started to sink. In a similar way, people of faith who have chosen not to use the "Spiritual Help" button because they think they can figure out the problem without getting help often sink. When this happens, these people can lose sight of hope. Many turn into someone they do not like or know (a kind of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) and are hurt when people tell them they have changed for the worse. They feel either abandoned or they are now paying for something they did in the past. They may even say, "What have I done to deserve this?" Guilt is written all over their faces.

Then you have what I call the "Withdrawers or Resignators." These are the people who feel that they are caught up in a system that they cannot change and they see themselves as victims. So they shrug their shoulders, lower their lip, cross their arms in defiance and say, "whatever." They are fed up, they are frustrated, they do the minimum, withdraw from their community, complain that they have been disrespected or unappreciated, and can't wait to leave. You no longer ask their opinion or seek their involvement. They become the people we just tolerate.

So what do you do? Try this: "Take a deep breath ... slowly exhale and check your bearing." You may ask what is your "bearing?" Simply put, it is the thing that gets us back on track. It helps us remember how to dream and what is good about ourselves and those we love and who love us. If you don't have a bearing, you should find one that works for you.

For me, when I stop, take a deep breath, and check my bearing, I am reminded of the strength of my faith. I remember that I can enter each day, hour, minute, second, moment and know that I count, that I there is meaning to my life, and someone values me for who I am.

I know stress can be hard and overwhelming, but I also know that faith sustains us and can make our life full and meaningful. Not all stress has to be negative or debilitating. In fact, some stress can be healthy. We have control over how we manage and respond to stress and should consider that stress might be intentional to help us grow, to help us learn something about ourselves, to challenge us in ways that will make us better. Don't become edgy, storm focused or one of those withdrawers or designators. Stop, take a deep breath ... slowly exhale and check your bearing.