The Misadventures of Airman Snuffy McDufflebag

  • Published
  • By Staff Sgt. Oshawn Jefferson
  • 39th Air Base Wing Public Affairs
INCIRIK AIR BASE, Turkey --  Can you believe it is about to be 2007. Wow in 2007 my wife and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage, my oldest child turns eight, despite their struggles my Dallas Cowboys have a chance to go to the Super Bowl, I find out where (or if) I am PCSing (or not) and I go on my fifth remote assignment. Yea!

For most of us this week is when we announce New Year's resolutions. We do this each year to establish new benchmarks. The New Year is a clean slate that will quickly fill over 365 days. Most everyone makes some kind of New Year's resolutions. According to one poll, the 10 top New Year's Resolutions are:

-- Spend more time with family and friends;
-- Spend more time working to become physically fit;
-- Follow a magic formula to lose weight;
-- Quit smoking this year;
-- Ease up on the hectic lifestyle and enjoy more;
-- Quit drinking alcohol;
-- Develop a financial plan to escape debt;
-- Learn something new;
-- Help others through volunteerism;
-- Get organized in personal life and at work.

My resolution ... no, my commitment ... in 2007 is to see everything that 2007 has in store. Unfortunately for some of us one bad mistake can stop us from seeing all of our life events or goals accomplished in 2007. Anyway, I digress.

I ran into Master Sgt. Johnny Mentor right after Christmas and he told me he had invited Airman Snuffy McDufflebag over to his house for the holiday and they actually had a good time. But he said Snuffy had some other plans for New Year's Eve. After what happened last year Sergeant Mentor made it plain and clear that Snuffy had to have a plan so he wouldn't make the same mistakes again.

Last year Snuffy and his pals threw a "Sippin Drinks that are Mixed to start '06" party. As you can possibly imagine the Banana Cognacs, Flaming Homer's, Liquid Crack, Incredible Hulks, Appletinis and Cosmopolitans were flowing freely.

The party, hosted by one of Snuffy's friends in base housing, began at 6 p.m. and the drinking began a 6:01 p.m. After they rang in the New Year they moved the party to the Consolidated Club. A woman at the party, Sally Stuper, an exgirlfriend of Snuffy's, was arrested on a drunken driving charge on her way to the club.

Funny thing about it is Sally made an odd choice when calling for a ride home. She called Snuffy, one of her drinking companions prior to her arrest, who was visibly drunk when he staggered into security forces headquarters.

Snuffy failed a sobriety test and more surprisingly, a routine background check revealed that Sally had previously obtained a no-contact order against him. Master Sgt. John Law said, "We can't allow him to come into contact with her, even if she says it's okay." Snuffy was charged with violating a no-contact order and driving while intoxicated. What a habitual line-stepper.

One thing that Sergeant Mentor said is that New Year's Eve party hosts should know some basic facts about both drinking and sobering up. According to Mother's Against Drunk Driving:

-- Coffee will not speed up sobriety. Only time can make a person sober.
-- Beer and wine are just as intoxicating as hard liquor. A 12-ounce can of beer, a five-ounce glass of wine, a 12-ounce wine cooler and an ounce-and-a-half of liquor contain the same amount of alcohol.
-- Mixers won't help dilute alcohol. In fact, carbonated mixers like club soda or tonic water cause a person's system to absorb alcohol more quickly. Also, fruit juice and other sweet mixers mask the taste of alcohol and may cause people to drink more.

Well the countdown is on and me and Sergeant Mentor are urging party-goers to make the resolution to celebrate safely and responsibly by designating a non-drinking driver before festivities begin. "We want families and friends to ring in the New Year with joy instead of hearing the ring of a telephone with tragedy on the other end. Everyone must do their part to protect the roadways, save lives and prevent injuries by designating a sober driver or plan on other safe transportation," Sergeant Mentor said.

According to the MADD Web site, between Thanksgiving and New Year's Eve 2005, 1,316 people were killed in traffic crashes involving alcohol -- representing 37 percent of all traffic deaths -- a decrease from 1,579 (38 percent) in 2004. On New Year's Eve 2005, 42 people were killed in alcohol-related crashes, a slight increase from 40 in 2004. On New Year's Day 2005, there were 91 alcohol-related traffic deaths, compared to 98 in 2004.

No one intends to harm anyone when they get behind the wheel on New Year's Eve. Yet traffic fatalities persist and myths about drinking live on -- even though scientific studies have documented how alcohol affects the brain and body. Because individuals are so different, it is difficult to give specific advice about drinking. But certain facts are clear -- there's no way to speed up the brain's recovery from alcohol and no way to make good decisions when you are drinking too much, too fast. On an evening like New Year's Eve (or any other evening, for that matter), rapid consumption of large amounts of alcohol is especially dangerous.

So this New Year's Eve, do not underestimate the effects of alcohol. Don't believe you can beat them. Pace yourself and be aware of how much you've consumed throughout the night. And as you think about the consequences of an arrest or a potentially fatal traffic crash, make alternative plans to get home safely. You don't want to begin 2007 like Snuffy began it. Also, you want to see and meet all your goals in 2007. I know I do and I hope Snuffy has a better time this year. Hopefully he learned from what happened last year, but as you know he is a habitual line stepper and he will be at it again.